Tuesday, September 21, 2010

First Panic Day

There's definitely a reason why I don't let myself panic. It doesn't feel good, physically or mentally. Anyway, today was my first panic/get-really-nervous day. Perhaps I should explain.

Kawahara Elementary School has about 10-15 students in each grade, 1st through 6th. Last week was my self-introduction lesson. It was a lot harder to get these 5th and 6th graders to warm up to me than it was at the larger Yamanishi Elementary (each grade has two classes of 30 students). The teachers at Kawahara were also quicker to stand back and put me in charge of the class. This is a nerve-wracking thing to do! The kids don't know me! They don't respond as easily to me, because, well, I'm foreign, and it's natural for them to feel more comfortable responding to their home room teachers (who barely understand me better than the kids do). 

Anyway, I left Kawahara having been told what the next target phrase was for each grade, and realizing that I would be coming up with a lesson plan and teaching almost entirely on my own. Scary. So I spent time planning. I found flashcards and game materials for the fifth grade, came up with review activities, and even downloaded a song and lyrics for the 6th grade class. I sent the lesson plans to Tomoko, my supervisor, who then translated them and sent them to the teachers. Then I forgot about them. 

Turns out I also forgot to find flashcards for the 6th graders. And that the song I chose was too hard for them, according to the homeroom teacher. The 6th grade homeroom teacher, by the way, is fairly stern and silent, and terrible at charades, as I found out today after much arm-waving (in a room with no AC). You can't not know English and be bad at charades. That's just not fair. So that was brutal (no AC) and mildly embarrassing (what did he think I was doing?). Anyway, I basically panicked. I had no materials, I was already nervous about teaching these kids, I had a teacher who I knew was going to involve himself as little as possible, and it was really hot. Stern and Silent was nice enough to go to his computer and print me some flashcards, though. Four of them. Not enough, but definitely a nice gesture. Thankfully, I had recess to print a few more and think of some new games. I was still nervous, though, and I could feel it. 

The lesson turned out fine. I could sense a few boredom moments among the kids while I drilled the words a few extra times, but overall the lesson went well, and they enjoyed the very last part. The phrase of the day was "What are you doing?" After some charades games, I showed them a folded picture of a dog. To demonstrate another use of the phrase, I unfolded the picture to reveal that the dog was peeing on the floor. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Even the teacher got a kick out of that one. Stern and Silent with an Occasional Smile. 

Ugh. I can't believe I panicked. Well, I can. I mean, I was caught unprepared. In an environment I still felt very new in. On a very busy day (I had 4 classes at the middle school before my 2 afternoon classes at Kawahara). But what I hate is how visceral this feeling of nervousness can be. I got home and I was still jittery. So I sat in front of my computer, watched a funny show, and ate Nutella from the jar. Not my usual weekday afternoon, let me tell you.

I figured out today that my favorite group to teach is definitely middle school. I think that's the age at which I stopped maturing, because I totally get these kids. Younger kids are fun, but they can be a little much. Adults are a little low in energy. High school kids would probably kick my butt, but I don't really know. What I do know is I love hanging out with my middle schoolers. Whether they're loud or quiet, snots or angels, musicians or athletes, I feel like we understand each other on some level. And that is a very satisfying feeling.

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