Perspective

Today was a good day. There was no work because it was Coming of Age Day. Japanese people come of age at 20, and in Nishihara, there was a small ceremony held yesterday in honor of all those who turned 20 in the last year. It was a lot like a small reunion, with all the women dressed in beautiful kimonos and the men dressed in suits (a small number in traditional male kimonos, the name of which I do not recall). The board of education put on a small presentation of photos and memories from their middle and elementary school days. They said some other things that I didn't understand and a dude got on stage and did some strange chanting, which was referred to as the "Esasa" (he did, in fact, chant "EEE! SAA! SAA!" several times). Overall, it was an interesting experience.

But back to today. I got up late, walked Zuma, ate some breakfast (a bagel with cream cheese!! A rare treat for me!), and decided to get out of the house and do some shopping. Today turned out to be a FANTASTIC day for shopping! I found tons of things I liked at good prices. On top of that, one of the stores was having a 30-80% off sale (I'll mention that I could not tell which items were discounted what amount), and when I went to the counter expecting to pay about $40, the price was $9.

Yea. $9.

Needless to say, I was shocked. Those $9 bought me 3 shirts, 2 sweaters, a skirt, origami paper, and an oven mitt. The day was full of great finds. I think I may be addicted to shopping. It's becoming quite the weekend hobby...

And while I was out shopping, I made dinner plans with a fellow ALT. Jamiel is basically my mentor and pal in the gun (county, if you will). He's been in Japan 2.5 years now, and he was around for winter vacation, so I've hung out with him a bit since then. Today was filled with discussions, laments and jokes about life in Japan and life in general. It was great to talk to someone about how my life is going here and who can share some insight into the Japanese and their mysterious ways. He also let me know that he was generally very unhappy his first year here. Wow. Basically he felt unwelcome in the way his coworkers behaved toward him, and just didn't quite fit in. But to see him now, you'd think he was always happy here. I guess we all adjust, as well as learn to present our best side to people, which is not always what people want or need to see.

So here's something that I'm gradually understanding. In many ways, the first year in the JET program sucks. People feel lonely, helpless, angry toward their coworkers or other JETs. They have money problems, dating problems, bug problems, you name it, and for everyone, it can be overwhelming at times. And from the stories I've heard thus far, I have to admit that I'm settling in normally, even above average so far. I have my moments of loneliness, frustration, confusion. I've felt angry toward my boss (she seems more aloof these days, almost like she's angry at me, and I find this confusing). I've felt like nobody wants to be my friend and then like I don't want to be anybody's friend. Most of all, I've felt angry that everyone else is having such a great time, making new friends and settling in so well, while I feel so alone. But this feeling is normal, especially before you start listening to other people's horror stories. In the last month, I've felt such a boost of confidence from being around friends, from making new friends, from seeing the progress I've made in learning Japanese. I owe all of this to the fact that I am surrounded by wonderful people, who make the effort to reach out to me, when I've been too confused and embarrassed to take that step. So my hope now is that one day I can extend the same courtesy to someone who feels lost and confused and lonely and frustrated in this strange country, or wherever else I end up. It's too easy to feel alone in this world, even when we know it's not true.