By far the hardest part of being here, in Japan, is communication. Perhaps I never realized how important it was, or how nuanced. There are so many aspects to it that we take for granted in our everyday lives. In my anthropology classes, the concept of the "wink" was often brought up as a classic example of layered communication and understanding. How did we come to learn and understand what it means when someone winks at you? How do we know when it's acceptable? When it's cute? When it's scary? Who can wink and why? What phrases could stand in for a wink?
And so it is here. I can't understand the subtle undertones of a person's gestures, what it means when someone doesn't meet your eye, or how to read a person's response to my flailing and sometimes failing attempts to communicate. Smiles are always encouraging, of course, but we all know that smiles can mean a lot of different things. Was that a "smile and nod", a "oh, this person is funny!" or a "please leave me alone" smile? Even more confounding: do Japanese people even have these particular aspects of smiling? What other uses/types of smiles do they have that I may never understand or see? It's a bit like learning vocabulary. Your ears are deaf to a word until you see it in a textbook, or actively learn the word; then suddenly it's everywhere, you just couldn't hear it before. That's what I think these smiles and winks are like. They're saying a lot, but I'm deaf to their meaning.
When I get truly upset by the fact that I'm here in Japan, and it does occasionally get to me, I invariably break down because of my frustrations with communication. Miscommunication with teachers happens, but not too often, and I can think of more times when the teachers have saved me than when they have thwarted my "brilliant" plans. At work, I find myself wishing I could make some small conversation, but feeling helpless, because it would be a taxing exercise for both myself and my listener. Would it seem rude to inflict such a demanding form of communication on my coworkers? Often, I tell myself, "when I can speak Japanese, I'll be able to make lots of friends, and things will be much easier," when I know deep down that this is not the case. If you're not willing to take a chance or make a fool out of yourself now while you can blame the language barrier, you're not so likely to do it later.
In kendo now, it really gets to me sometimes. Keep in mind that learning a martial art, or any sport, and meeting the standards of your coach or teacher is difficult enough. Now imagine that you don't have the luxury of speaking the same language. At first, I was doing really well - I'm generally pretty good at following gestures and mimicking physical movements. After all, I did do some small bit of choreography in college. So those first steps were relatively easy, and I seemed to be learning quickly. But now we've reached the stage where I have some level of competence, and my mistakes are more subtle or perhaps repetitive because I find a certain handhold or movement awkward. The teachers tell me and show me what to do, but sometimes I just don't understand what it is I'm doing wrong and so I'm not sure how to fix it. And the teachers often suspect that I don't understand what they're saying, so they say the same thing very simply 5 or 6 times. Thank you, but I'm not dumb. I just speak a different language. It doesn't help that I keep mental notes of good and bad (I should say preferred and non-preferred) teaching styles, and project these attitudes onto my practice. So for a teacher I like learning from, I seem to level-up a good deal. For those who seem to baby me too much I tone it down and don't improve quite as much. And this whole time, whether it's a comment, question, or a "thanks, your technique for ~ was really helpful to me!", I can't say it.
And this drives me crazy. It's upsetting to the point of frustrated tears on a bad day. Just that feeling of wanting to be able to say something and having no one to say it to, even in a room full of people. It literally feels like you're screaming in a crowd and no one can hear you. What makes it simultaneously worse and better is that those people want to hear you, they want to understand you and they want to help. But they're helpless, too. So I get frustrated, and I end up needing some time alone, or a few hugs if I'm lucky enough to be near a source. By the next day, I'm back on my own two feet, ready to start tackling little problems and avoiding the ones that are still scary. Again.
It's at times like these that I feel that language is so important. "If I only knew more Japanese, I could..." But I know it's not true. What is true is that approximately 90% of communication is nonverbal. If I really wanted to convey, "Please stop treating me like a baby", I would stop the speaker and repeat their words/gestures exactly in a very commanding and/or frustrated tone, saying "wakarimashita" (I got it, with a hint of let's move on if you say it right). If I wanted to show I liked a certain lesson, I could say "Wow", give a thumbs up and immediately continue practicing that move. And if I want people to know I'm upset, tears do the trick much faster than any explanation.
So yea, I use my language barrier as an excuse, a crutch for my not being more proactive or outgoing. I convince myself that learning as much Japanese as I can is going to help me get along out here. But I know that 90% of that is actually attitude. It's how I carry myself and what I do and how often I smile and what kind of smile it is. I have a lot more communication tools that it seems at first, I just have to remember, and have the guts, to use them.
But there's something else making communication difficult for me, and it's what I mentioned at the start of this entry. Culture. It makes such subtle changes in all layers of communication. Communicating across cultures is kinda like using left handed scissors in your right hand. When you're in Japan, it's like you're left-handed and for some reason you have to use your right hand to cut with left-handed scissors but you don't understand why. So suddenly all the tools you've been using your whole life to navigate the social world are ever-so-slightly different, and everyone around you seems to be doing just fine with these tools. They don't even need an instruction manual - they can make birdhouses and fix plumbing without even thinking. You used to be like that. You used to be something of a wordsmith. You still see language as beautiful and expressive, but in this place people don't see you as a master of words. They see you as a kid playing with a hammer and nails (or some other, safer analogy). "Oh, wow, how'd you get to be so good at using a hammer? Hey! You actually got that nail in this time!"
And there we have it - the root of what really gets me. Yes, I'm learning a new language, and of course my skills won't be very advanced for a long time. I can say lots of things - what I've done or haven't done, can or can't do, months and colors and dates and times and even some simple comparisons and sequential events. But it feels like I can't say anything meaningful. I'm not about to have a heart-to-heart with anyone in Japanese, and this feels like a real barrier to building personal relationships. So you see: language is important, even if it's not our primary or most efficient way of communicating. It's comforting, and having a grasp of language and the ability to use it is, quite frankly, liberating. That's why I like this blog. This is where I put into words all these feelings that before were only shudders, smiles, raised eyebrows, screams, tears, guffaws, gawks and pointed fingers. These entries are my charades put into words. It's like creating the script to a play. I think that's what makes acting so beautiful, this incredible connection between language and gesture. Ultimately, it's what makes communication so beautiful. And so utterly perplexing.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Natto
Natto is a Japanese food. It is fermented soybeans. Sometimes we get it as part of our school lunch. It just looks like a small pack of brown beans, and you put this watery sauce on it (vinegar?) and stir really fast. This gives the natto a gooey film, roughly the consistency of mucus. But before any of this happens, I offer mine to the nearest student who will take it. This student becomes my new best friend, and I make sure to tell him or her in English for all to hear.
Natto is officially my least favorite food of all time. It beats out liver and tripe. It is gooey and slimy (or neba neba in Japanese) and smells bad and tastes worse than it smells. The after taste is like an exceptionally original flavor of barf.
So you can imagine my disappointment this morning when I strayed from my usual breakfast and ate some store-bought sushi, half of which was of the natto variety. I should mention also that Japanese sushi uses a number of ingredients that we would not expect or use or see at home, among them egg, mushrooms, spinach, and lettuce. And natto. I wasn't looking too closely. I just felt like eating sushi. I thought the brown gloop might have been mushrooms, or some other mystery Japanese ingredient. But no. That was the most disgusting sushi I have ever eaten. The natto just overwhelmed all other tastes. But I faced my fate, and managed (barely) to eat it without gagging. On the plus side, I've heard that natto does marvelous things for your digestive system.
I should mention here that tofu is also made from fermented soy beans. But somewhere along the lines, something must have gone very very wrong for someone to have wound up with natto. It is notoriously disliked among foreigners. It would fail miserably as an export. I would not wish it upon anyone (except that it's really healthy, so I guess as an intravenous drip, it would be fine, except that the goo might clog your arteries). Only in Japan.
Only in Japan.
Natto is officially my least favorite food of all time. It beats out liver and tripe. It is gooey and slimy (or neba neba in Japanese) and smells bad and tastes worse than it smells. The after taste is like an exceptionally original flavor of barf.
So you can imagine my disappointment this morning when I strayed from my usual breakfast and ate some store-bought sushi, half of which was of the natto variety. I should mention also that Japanese sushi uses a number of ingredients that we would not expect or use or see at home, among them egg, mushrooms, spinach, and lettuce. And natto. I wasn't looking too closely. I just felt like eating sushi. I thought the brown gloop might have been mushrooms, or some other mystery Japanese ingredient. But no. That was the most disgusting sushi I have ever eaten. The natto just overwhelmed all other tastes. But I faced my fate, and managed (barely) to eat it without gagging. On the plus side, I've heard that natto does marvelous things for your digestive system.
I should mention here that tofu is also made from fermented soy beans. But somewhere along the lines, something must have gone very very wrong for someone to have wound up with natto. It is notoriously disliked among foreigners. It would fail miserably as an export. I would not wish it upon anyone (except that it's really healthy, so I guess as an intravenous drip, it would be fine, except that the goo might clog your arteries). Only in Japan.
Only in Japan.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Oh, Japan!
In the midst of the crises going on up north, Japan continues to befuddle, amuse, confuse, and embarrass me in various and nefarious ways. I think I should make note of the most recent of these before I incorporate them into my idea of a "normal" life.
First: April Turnovers. No, they are not a delicious food. Does that even sound like it would be Japanese food? Rather, it approximates a workplace Chinese Firedrill (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_fire_drill). If you work for the government, in particular, there's a good chance that you will be moved around, perhaps even to a different township. You won't have to move, you just have to drive an hour or so out to your job. The idea is to give younger employees more experience in different fields and offices on the one hand. But I have no idea what is on the other hand.
And here's the crazy part. The first day of the new school year around here is April 8. The teachers don't learn whether they get to stay at their old school or will be transferred to a new one until March 16. Yeah, that's right. You have 3 weeks to say goodbye and prepare to change schools. Less than that if you want to do any work before school actually starts.
The other thing that finally got to me: Japanese drivers. Since I'm out in the country side, I don't usually run into a lot of the bad ones (though some would argue there is no other kind of Japanese driver), but the other day I just had it. Japan has a large elderly population. A great many of these are still behind the wheel of a car (despite the fact that many of the obaasans, or old ladies/grandmothers, can barely see over the steering wheel). Frustration #1. Frustration #2 is the habit of driving outside the lines on a two way street. Usually this is done on windy roads with no lines drawn, and I can understand not clinging to every left curve of the street. BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN MULTILANE TRAFFIC DO NOT VEER OUT OF YOUR LANE, ESPECIALLY SINCE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PASS YOU!!!! There must have been other traffic infractions that day, because otherwise I would not have literally started screaming my frustrations at Japanese drivers while I was in the car. The good news is, 90% of the time, it's not this bad.
I have a few more stories to tell, I think, including graduation day (SOOO much ceremony and bowing!), a couple of dinner parties, a jazz band concert, and a fire festival (of which there are many blurry pictures). Until then!
First: April Turnovers. No, they are not a delicious food. Does that even sound like it would be Japanese food? Rather, it approximates a workplace Chinese Firedrill (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_fire_drill). If you work for the government, in particular, there's a good chance that you will be moved around, perhaps even to a different township. You won't have to move, you just have to drive an hour or so out to your job. The idea is to give younger employees more experience in different fields and offices on the one hand. But I have no idea what is on the other hand.
And here's the crazy part. The first day of the new school year around here is April 8. The teachers don't learn whether they get to stay at their old school or will be transferred to a new one until March 16. Yeah, that's right. You have 3 weeks to say goodbye and prepare to change schools. Less than that if you want to do any work before school actually starts.
The other thing that finally got to me: Japanese drivers. Since I'm out in the country side, I don't usually run into a lot of the bad ones (though some would argue there is no other kind of Japanese driver), but the other day I just had it. Japan has a large elderly population. A great many of these are still behind the wheel of a car (despite the fact that many of the obaasans, or old ladies/grandmothers, can barely see over the steering wheel). Frustration #1. Frustration #2 is the habit of driving outside the lines on a two way street. Usually this is done on windy roads with no lines drawn, and I can understand not clinging to every left curve of the street. BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN MULTILANE TRAFFIC DO NOT VEER OUT OF YOUR LANE, ESPECIALLY SINCE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PASS YOU!!!! There must have been other traffic infractions that day, because otherwise I would not have literally started screaming my frustrations at Japanese drivers while I was in the car. The good news is, 90% of the time, it's not this bad.
I have a few more stories to tell, I think, including graduation day (SOOO much ceremony and bowing!), a couple of dinner parties, a jazz band concert, and a fire festival (of which there are many blurry pictures). Until then!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
4 Days Later
I've just received news that the vast majority of JET participants in the area are safe and sound, with no injuries or fatalities reported. However, there are a small number of JETs that have not been heard from the Tohoku region. If you have thoughts and prayers to send to Japan, you can send them their way. I can't imagine what their families and friends must be going through right now.
It's a truly scary thought to be in a foreign country and uprooted from an otherwise secure job in an otherwise safe and wealthy nation. I can't help wondering: What if it had been me? After all, I was probably randomly placed in Japan. I very well could have ended up further north. Will these JETs even have a job after this? How many of them will be sent home? Relocated within Japan? Whole communities have been uprooted, and it seems like it will be a long time before they are able to recoop enough to reestablish schools and daily routines.
And still life goes on as usual around here. Japan continues to shock, embarrass, astound, and annoy, but more on that in a later entry.
It's a truly scary thought to be in a foreign country and uprooted from an otherwise secure job in an otherwise safe and wealthy nation. I can't help wondering: What if it had been me? After all, I was probably randomly placed in Japan. I very well could have ended up further north. Will these JETs even have a job after this? How many of them will be sent home? Relocated within Japan? Whole communities have been uprooted, and it seems like it will be a long time before they are able to recoop enough to reestablish schools and daily routines.
And still life goes on as usual around here. Japan continues to shock, embarrass, astound, and annoy, but more on that in a later entry.
Friday, March 11, 2011
The Day Just Got a Lot More Interesting
It's all over the news - a huge earthquake hit off the northeast coast of Honshu, Japan's main island. The main areas affected are Miyagi and Tokyo, with the former experiencing tsunami (plural) as high as 10 meters. This was just over two hours ago. Now the TV is on in the staffroom as we watch the footage of 10 meters of ocean creeping into cities on Japan's coast. It's not unlike the first wave of reports from Katrina. It certainly must be one of the biggest natural disasters in Japan's history. Certainly one of the biggest in mine.
What's odd is that life here goes on as usual. On Monday, the 3rd graders at the junior high school will graduate and scatter to different high schools and technical schools. Today was the setup and rehearsal for the ceremony on Monday. It certainly is a rigid ceremony, requiring a lot of bowing, much of which must be synchronized with your classmates, and a good bit of singing from the students. There's a school song, a song the 3rd graders sing to the 1st and 2nd graders, a song the 1st and 2nd graders sing to the 3rd graders, and a song the 3rd graders sing just for kicks (for all I know). Then the band will start playing and the 3rd graders will file out down the isle and out the back of the gym (where the ceremony will be held, since it has the stage), walking to the beat of the music behind their homeroom teachers. The class has about 60 students.
After the morning ceremony, there will be a less formal goodbye party, where I believe memories will be rehashed, and gifts and messages showered upon the 3rd graders. The teachers made video messages (which I might not have found out about and participated in if I hadn't been asking every morning this week about the various strange announcements and graduation preparations that no one was tell me about). So I made my own goodbye message - in song :) A few of the teachers put choreographed a dance, and I have yet to see some of the other videos. Apparently, there will also be a dinner party in the evening including 3rd graders and their parents and teachers, about which I know little other than this.
And the 6th graders at the elementary schools are having their own ceremony. From what I gather, at Yamanishi I'm invited to play dodgeball and other games from 4-5 on Tuesday and there will be a ceremony in the gym at 10 am a week later at Kawahara. I've already taught my last elementary classes for the school year. Guess this means it's time to start reviewing the curriculum once more.
Basically, turnover time is on its way and everybody working for the government in any capacity is getting really busy. I believe that Ms. Yanase (the teacher pulled from retirement) will be leaving. She's almost as out-of-touch with what's going on as I am, and has referred to herself briefly as a temporary teacher (today was the first I heard her thus call herself). I'm a little nervous and hopeful about having a new teacher. On the one hand, Ms. Yanase gives me a lot of freedom to have input in the glass, and really values my help. On the other hand, she has a lot of teaching habits that I disapprove of, such as translating everything for the students, and sometimes babbling about irrelevant things in what seems like an effort to fill extra class time. So there's independence and creativity, but not much continuity within the class.
Turnover for me means I'm spending time finding and reorganizing flashcards. Some of them I never organized (and neither did my predecessor), and others have made their way to various schools, my car, and various rooms in my house. And there are still so many old materials left to sort through, as well as new ones of my own to file away properly. I have ideas for the elementary school curriculum I would like to solidify and a trip to Okinawa I'd like to plan for the spring break before school starts again. Dunno how this earthquake will affect Okinawa, though.
Word of the Day: Jishin. You have one guess as to what it means.
What's odd is that life here goes on as usual. On Monday, the 3rd graders at the junior high school will graduate and scatter to different high schools and technical schools. Today was the setup and rehearsal for the ceremony on Monday. It certainly is a rigid ceremony, requiring a lot of bowing, much of which must be synchronized with your classmates, and a good bit of singing from the students. There's a school song, a song the 3rd graders sing to the 1st and 2nd graders, a song the 1st and 2nd graders sing to the 3rd graders, and a song the 3rd graders sing just for kicks (for all I know). Then the band will start playing and the 3rd graders will file out down the isle and out the back of the gym (where the ceremony will be held, since it has the stage), walking to the beat of the music behind their homeroom teachers. The class has about 60 students.
After the morning ceremony, there will be a less formal goodbye party, where I believe memories will be rehashed, and gifts and messages showered upon the 3rd graders. The teachers made video messages (which I might not have found out about and participated in if I hadn't been asking every morning this week about the various strange announcements and graduation preparations that no one was tell me about). So I made my own goodbye message - in song :) A few of the teachers put choreographed a dance, and I have yet to see some of the other videos. Apparently, there will also be a dinner party in the evening including 3rd graders and their parents and teachers, about which I know little other than this.
And the 6th graders at the elementary schools are having their own ceremony. From what I gather, at Yamanishi I'm invited to play dodgeball and other games from 4-5 on Tuesday and there will be a ceremony in the gym at 10 am a week later at Kawahara. I've already taught my last elementary classes for the school year. Guess this means it's time to start reviewing the curriculum once more.
Basically, turnover time is on its way and everybody working for the government in any capacity is getting really busy. I believe that Ms. Yanase (the teacher pulled from retirement) will be leaving. She's almost as out-of-touch with what's going on as I am, and has referred to herself briefly as a temporary teacher (today was the first I heard her thus call herself). I'm a little nervous and hopeful about having a new teacher. On the one hand, Ms. Yanase gives me a lot of freedom to have input in the glass, and really values my help. On the other hand, she has a lot of teaching habits that I disapprove of, such as translating everything for the students, and sometimes babbling about irrelevant things in what seems like an effort to fill extra class time. So there's independence and creativity, but not much continuity within the class.
Turnover for me means I'm spending time finding and reorganizing flashcards. Some of them I never organized (and neither did my predecessor), and others have made their way to various schools, my car, and various rooms in my house. And there are still so many old materials left to sort through, as well as new ones of my own to file away properly. I have ideas for the elementary school curriculum I would like to solidify and a trip to Okinawa I'd like to plan for the spring break before school starts again. Dunno how this earthquake will affect Okinawa, though.
Word of the Day: Jishin. You have one guess as to what it means.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Fire and Flowers
Spring is coming! And with it, lots of fire and flowers! Allow me to explain.
First, spring is here! The official first day of spring in Japan is February 4th. The day before is known as setsubun. I was very sad to learn that missed this celebration, because it consists of throwing beans (I believe dried soy beans) at a demon, or oni, while shouting "Demons out! Good fortune in!" (oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi!). You're also supposed to eat a number of beans equal to one less more your age (which is your age according to kazoe doshi, where the year of your birth counts as one). All of this is information I learned from my Japanese CLAIR (Council of Local Authorities for International Relations) Coursebook about 2 weeks after the fact.
So my only real experience with setsubun was my brief encounter with the middle school science teacher the day after. He practically danced into the copy room all smiles, and with the little English he knew, he started talking about throwing beans at the devil for the start of spring. 9 am, and I could have sworn the man was drunk. But it was exciting to hear about. I suspect he must have been the one dressed as the demon while his kids threw beans at him. I've heard this is traditionally the father's role.
There is a fire brigade in Nishihara whose main job is the safe spread of grass fires during March, when the grassy fields and hills of this region are set ablaze to make way for the new grass. It's a tradition that's been going on for awhile around here, and true to the inner pyromaniac in all of us, it has become something of a ritual. The Aso Fire Festival goes on all month, with events every weekend. For example, March 12th they will light a hillside on fire at night, first lighting the kanji character for "fire", or 火 . It even looks like fire, doesn't it? It was definitely one of the first kanji I learned. On March 18th, there will be a big celebration at the shrine in Aso City, where highly trained professionals* will swing flaming balls of hay on string around their heads. And it sounds amazing!
*I highly doubt these are trained professionals. I suspect this may be one of the more dangerous events in Japan.
And finally, hanami season, or blossom viewing season (hana means "flower", and mi is the root for "see") is on its way. The weekend of March 25th is the official start in this area. I've heard some say the blossoms will be late this year due to the cold, but I can also see some plum blossoms on trees. They're quite beautiful, and people are getting really excited. You can tell, even when people aren't talking about it, that it's a big deal. My phone's background has pictures that update automatically for the season. I had a snowman around Christmas, a pumpkin in October, and today I noticed cherry blossoms, or sakura, were my new background. It's coming! Spring is coming! It's too bad today was so cold and wet. I was hoping for nice weather tomorrow. Since I have Wednesday afternoons off to make up for my evening conversation class, I was going to head to the park in the city, where I've heard the blossoms are starting to look very pretty.
First, spring is here! The official first day of spring in Japan is February 4th. The day before is known as setsubun. I was very sad to learn that missed this celebration, because it consists of throwing beans (I believe dried soy beans) at a demon, or oni, while shouting "Demons out! Good fortune in!" (oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi!). You're also supposed to eat a number of beans equal to one less more your age (which is your age according to kazoe doshi, where the year of your birth counts as one). All of this is information I learned from my Japanese CLAIR (Council of Local Authorities for International Relations) Coursebook about 2 weeks after the fact.
So my only real experience with setsubun was my brief encounter with the middle school science teacher the day after. He practically danced into the copy room all smiles, and with the little English he knew, he started talking about throwing beans at the devil for the start of spring. 9 am, and I could have sworn the man was drunk. But it was exciting to hear about. I suspect he must have been the one dressed as the demon while his kids threw beans at him. I've heard this is traditionally the father's role.
There is a fire brigade in Nishihara whose main job is the safe spread of grass fires during March, when the grassy fields and hills of this region are set ablaze to make way for the new grass. It's a tradition that's been going on for awhile around here, and true to the inner pyromaniac in all of us, it has become something of a ritual. The Aso Fire Festival goes on all month, with events every weekend. For example, March 12th they will light a hillside on fire at night, first lighting the kanji character for "fire", or 火 . It even looks like fire, doesn't it? It was definitely one of the first kanji I learned. On March 18th, there will be a big celebration at the shrine in Aso City, where highly trained professionals* will swing flaming balls of hay on string around their heads. And it sounds amazing!
*I highly doubt these are trained professionals. I suspect this may be one of the more dangerous events in Japan.
And finally, hanami season, or blossom viewing season (hana means "flower", and mi is the root for "see") is on its way. The weekend of March 25th is the official start in this area. I've heard some say the blossoms will be late this year due to the cold, but I can also see some plum blossoms on trees. They're quite beautiful, and people are getting really excited. You can tell, even when people aren't talking about it, that it's a big deal. My phone's background has pictures that update automatically for the season. I had a snowman around Christmas, a pumpkin in October, and today I noticed cherry blossoms, or sakura, were my new background. It's coming! Spring is coming! It's too bad today was so cold and wet. I was hoping for nice weather tomorrow. Since I have Wednesday afternoons off to make up for my evening conversation class, I was going to head to the park in the city, where I've heard the blossoms are starting to look very pretty.
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