A Black Hole

So I realize that I've been a little AWOL on this blog, and there's a reason for that. Whether it was the Evil Eye, a debt to Karma, or just plain Bad Luck, I've just been having a soul-crushingly awful summer. So much so that I didn't want to relive it be blogging about it, even though the act of writing about it may have been a cathartic experience. So the blog sort of has this Black Hole in it, starting right around the time of my car accident. Allow me to put things into perspective.

In my head, I have this impression that this ought to be a blog about my encounters with Japanese culture, and therefore be a more Japan-and-Rebeca centric blog. But it's not really about Japan, is it? It's about me being in Japan, living in Japan. It has definitely taken a few odd turns, my life in Japan, that are largely unrelated to Japanese culture and more to do with bad luck. But I will talk about them now because dealing with these things in Japan has been quite the [frustrating] experience.

This summer has been full of really wonderful, fun, thrilling, exciting, happy things as well. But every day that I stopped to have some fun felt like a brief pause before returning to the doom and gloom of Things as Usual. Kinda like a big field of crap punctuated by the occasional bouquet of flowers. The flowers are absolutely gorgeous, but it's hard to ignore all the crap on the ground.

On June 26th, I fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed my car into a tree at 3 am. My friend and I emerged uninjured, about 10 minutes away from my house, and the car wasn't going anywhere. A very kind Japanese guy stopped to help us out. It was lightly raining and Kudo san was nice enough to call and talk to the police for us, and even stayed to help during the whole 2 hour process of towing the car and talking to the police. The really nice thing about not being able to speak the language is that I barely had to do a thing. I signed a paper here and there, I paid the bill, and I had to hang my head in shame, but all the paperwork was taken care of for me. It's like being a kid again.

The repairs on my car would have cost more than I originally paid for the car, so I decided to junk it and find another one. Fortunately, a lot of other JETs were selling their cars for cheap because they would be leaving Japan in August. I made an offer on one, but the guy needed it to move his stuff through the end of July. Meanwhile, I scraped by, renting a car for two weeks, borrowing the office car for work, and going to Europe for two weeks. I managed, and when I got back, I had a car of my own.

However, my international driver's permit expired in July. So in July I had a license, but no car. In August, I had a car but no license. This was not my plan, obviously. I had gone to the driving license center in June to apply to get my Texas license converted to a Japanese license. But there was a hitch. If you are a patient person willing to hear my paperwork woes, I will detail them below. However, you can also imagine that field of crap as it might have been in the beginning - just a small pile perhaps. Now if you imagine it growing bigger and more putrid and more idiotic every day for a month: that's exactly what this whole license-obtaining process has been like. So now you don't even have to read the description below :D

It's still like that today, in fact! I remain unlicensed and this is why. In April, I renewed my Texas license online, because it would expire in October and within 1 year of expiration, you are allowed to renew your license online, if you went in person the last time. So I did this, thinking it would be a good idea to be preemptive.  I had this license mailed to my Texas address. It never arrived. This was the start of all my woes. Had I not done this, I might have been licensed ages ago. Meanwhile, I was putting together my paperwork to obtain a Japanese driver license. I obtained a copy of my driver record (which, by the way, is called a Status Record, in order to further confuse us all) that showed how long I had been licensed. I needed to show that I had been licensed for at least 3 months before I came to Japan, and that I had been living in the U.S. for that much time. But the license I had in my wallet showed was issued one month before I came to Japan - it was a replacement for the license I lost over spring break. But the driver record also showed that my most recent license was issued on April 9, 2011 and would expire in October, 2017. That's right - it showed the data for my renewed license lost somewhere in Texas. For Japanese officials trying to verify my status as a licensed driver, I can understand why this was confusing. So I thought, "OK, no problem. All I have to do is get my license shipped again." So I called the Texas Department of Public Safety at 11pm on a weeknight, or 9am on a weekday in Texas, was put on hold for 30 minutes, then managed to explain my situation. They said they would mail my license to Japan, probably a 4 week wait, but if I wanted it shipped faster, I would have to set up a FedEx account and they would charge me through that. So I tried to do it online. FedEx Japan would only accept a Japanese credit card. Didn't have one. FedEx in the U.S. needed a credit card with an American address - my credit card showed my Japanese address. I finally found a different credit card that worked and called DPS only to find that my license was already being shipped. That was around July 15. I went to Europe and came back hoping to find my license in my mailbox. It was August 6th and it had not arrived. So I called them and asked them to reprint and resend my license, this time by FedEx. It arrived 4 days later, and cost me $75. I didn't care, I just wanted to finish this. But would you believe...the dates on this Shiny, New, Up-to-Date license did not match my status record. The record still shows, to this day, the renewal issue date of April 9, while the license I received shows an August 5 issue date (the expiration date is the same though). Mothereffingsonofa$#*%# So I asked my boss to call the license center and explain things and see if this was ok. It's not really ok, but they might accept a letter of explanation. Maybe. IN ADDITION, they have a problem with my original license issue date. In May, 2003 I qualified for a license - I had passed both the written and practical tests. However, I was only 15 years old on that date, and on the questionnaire I was given at the Japanese license center, I told them that I held a driving permit, or a restricted license, until I was 16 years old, when I received a real license. Now the center needs proof that I was given a real license when I turned 16, a process that is automatic and proof of which I have no idea how to obtain. My appointment to go to the center is next Wednesday, September 14. I have no idea how this will turn out. This is a most unfortunate turn of events. You can see that if just one of many things were different, none of this would have happened. If I had saved my old licenses (from when I was 16 onward); if I hadn't lost my license over spring break; if I hadn't renewed my license in April, if that license hadn't been lost in the mail. All these ifs. All these tiny circumstances that could have prevented all, or half of this. It's a perfect storm of bureaucratic insidiousness. And I just want it to finish already.

Meanwhile, my computer and kindle have both broken and been fixed. I've had several unhappy mix-ups with the post office along the way, though, trying to use Amazon's postage to return the broken kindle. They also seemed to have some problem with a money transfer, so I may have some more things to figure out.

But as crappy as all this has been, I have managed to get a boyfriend out of all of this. But he deserves his own entry, so I'll save the details for next time.

Origami Convention in Tokyo

How can I describe how incredibly awesome it was to be surrounded by many of the worlds BEST origami artists for nearly two days? When I arrived at Tokyo University ready to sign in for the convention, bumbling about asking for help in my jarbled Japanglish, little did I realize that virtually every volunteer I spoke to was an origami genius. I noticed a lot of children present, and assumed that the more complex models would be out of their reach, little knowing that many of them could fold cleaner, faster, and more-complicated models than I could hope to achieve.

When I finally had my bearings, I noticed a group of foreigners in one corner of the auditorium, and recognized a few of them from the MIT origami meetings I'd been to. Yep, you heard right. Since Harvard lacked it's own origami club, when I heard that MIT had one I made an effort to go to several meetings my senior year. Here's their website, in case you're curious. I had hoped I might see some of them there. So I made my way over and joined their group.

Here I am folding with a couple of the MIT girls. In the background, wearing a brown t-shirt with a splash of green, is Robert Lang. It took some control on my part not to run up and ask for his autograph. I did go to his lecture, though.

Let me tell you, doing origami alone and doing origami in company are two vastly different experiences. For one, you can see how other people got started with origami and how they've improved and who influences them. A few people I talked to seemed surprised that I had picked up origami largely on my own, and gotten to where I am now. There are apparently some stereotypes about who folds origami better, and one guy readily admitted that Japanese origami enthusiasts are much better folders on average than Americans. Their folds are neater, they fold faster, and they seem to know their way around a piece of paper just a little better. A model that took 3 hours to teach, with 50% of the class finishing in America, took 2 hours in Japan, with some students finishing in 1 hour. And in Japan, 15 out of 30 or so of these students were under the age of 15. Here's the model they were folding. That's from one square sheet of paper with no cuts. Below is a picture of a miniature version someone folded. It's next to my watch, to give you an idea of dimension.

I thought my polar bear was kinda cute at that size, but the Nazgul was ridiculous. Tiny and incredibly well-done.

So white people in general have a reputation for not being particularly accurate or good folders. So when I met one of the special guests, whose models were being featured at the convention, he assumed I was probably an amateur, ok-ish folder. He told me so later, when I entered his class late (forgot to set my alarm), caught up, and apparently managed to make a much neater model than half of the, mostly, Japanese class. Interesting assumption, great compliment, to have my folds admired by the teacher. I sat next to two Japanese ladies who were also impressed by my folds, though I think one of them was much better than I was. It was nice, because I was able to actually converse a little with them in Japanese!

The two Japanese ladies I was folding with. On the table is the star we were working on. 

One of the most incredible aspects of origami folding, I think, is some artists' ability to manipulate the two-sided nature of the paper, an aspect known as color changing. A classic example of this is a panda made from one square of paper, colored white one side and black on the other. Folding to get the colors in the right place is a tricky thing, although sometimes depending on the position of the paper, it's surprisingly simple. I'm actually a huge fan of well-done color changing.

On the left is a samurai warrior dude. From one sheet of paper, red on one side, white on the other, Brian Chan folded this. His work is phenomenal, and he's one of the Amazing Artists I've met and sort of gawked at in awe of his sheer genius. I mean, look at the sword! That shit takes serious tallent!

Below is a chimpanzee, with nipples no less, folded by Roman Diaz, and Uruguayan origamist who has quite a knack for color changing, in my opinion. Several of his models were on display at the convention .

The weekend flew by! I left the convention early on the second day to catch a flight back to Kumamoto, and now I'm at work once more. The new JETs have arrived and I will meet many of them tonight and tomorrow at orientation. I'm giving a workshop on Learning Japanese, so I'll be giving suggestions to the newcomers on how to approach the Japanese language. I'm presenting with a guy who's Japanese is super advanced, so we make a perfect team. He majored in the Japanese language before he came, and I knew the word "konnichiwa" before I came. That seems like a long time ago...

Acclimation

I've grown accustomed to a lot of things since I came here: speaking less and with more gestures, a check-mark means a wrong answer, bowing, and removing your shoes indoors. I can't even name most of them because I don't think about them anymore. So at times I seem to almost fit in, to have been assimilated into the routine of Japanese life. But ultimately, I'm always reminded of how incredibly foreign I am.

It's always a frustrating moment, when I forget to remove my indoor shoes to enter a room designated as cleaner (the carpeted music room) or dirtier (the bathroom, for which there are special bathroom slippers). When I go out to eat and people do a double take. When every teacher is assigned a task for Sports Day and no one even so much as acknowledges my presence in the matter.

Don't get me wrong - this is part of what fascinates and challenges me. I'm being tested on my ability to understand the language and culture in the most immediate and relevant manner possible on a daily basis. Of course, everyone has their limitations, and I can't be 100% mindful of every situation and its nuances, and I have my own routines and habits that are hard to break, even for the sake of fitting in. What makes this situation particularly challenging is the attitude of the Japanese people. I think there is a strong tendency among Japanese people to see foreigners as "foreign". Even I have that tendency - it's hard to think of someone becoming Japanese in the way someone can become American. But then, America is a land of immigrants and diversity is part of our identity, whereas uniformity seems to be a significant part of the Japanese identity.

This is where working with kids comes in to save the day. Just when I've had enough of this special treatment, treat-you-different, can't-communicate-very-well crap from the adults, the kids swoop in to save the day. Tag, jump rope, soccer, tickling, don't-let-the-ball-touch-you, and look-over-there-so-i-can-take-your-dessert games transcend linguistic and cultural boundaries. Kids don't treat you any different just because you're foreign. Well, they might at first, and they're allowed to because they're still making observations about the world in general, but ultimately they're just gouging how much fun you are. And so kids are my relief from the barriers and boundaries set up by the rest of Japanese society. As much I want to be able to understand everything they say to me, I don't have to. And they're not discouraged by it. It's a win/win situation!

In other news, it's the Rainy Season. As of last week, there will be mostly rain and cloudy skies until mid-July. So far, it hasn't bothered me. I rather like the rain when the weather is warm, but there's no guarantee I won't go crazy after another week of this.

And the fireflies have come out to play! Apparently they only congregate near areas with clean water, so most towns and villages have known spots for sighting them. It seems to be a big deal to the Japanese. I think it's a reverence for nature that is rooted within the culture (consider the nature-based haiku and Shinto-ism, which builds shrines on sites of exceptional natural beauty and the cherry-blossom-viewing tradition). I found out about them from some people at kendo practice. I couldn't understand the word "hotaru" ("firefly") so they began gesturing at their butts. Literally a group of 4 adults and children was dancing around gesturing at their butts, and no one thought to indicate that we were talking about an insect. Needless to say it took several minutes for me to figure this out, during which time I had great fun watching them.  And yes, when I went to see them, they were very pretty indeed.

A Hard-hitter

Early in the year, I offered the students the chance to write me a letter whenever they wanted, and I would reply to them. I got quite a few those first few months, but it's been a while since I got my last letter, so I was surprised when to get one today. The letters have usually been along the lines of "what singers do you like?" or "how many brothers/sisters do you have?" or questions about studying English. So I was understandably surprised when I read this:

Dear Rebeca,
I have questions. I heard Osama bin Laden killed by American on TV. I can't understand why American did it. I think we can't lost demonstration and war even if they killed him. However, many Americans were pleased. Why?? How do you think about him?
I'm interested in international problem now. I'm thinking why are there war and demonstration in the world and what can I do to lost them.

From ~.

Wow. So I found myself writing a letter today explaining the events of 9/11 and our subsequent obsession with Osama bin Laden in as succinct a way as possible. My student is smart, so I didn't limit my English too much in order to give her a challenge. I'm going to include my response here, in part because it's the most critically I've thought about these events so far, and also because maybe some of you have some thoughts on how you would interpret/explain Americans' reactions to bin Laden's death if you were asked.

Dear ~, 

Those are some very interesting and difficult questions. I will do my best to answer them.

Osama bin Laden was America's #1 enemy. He was the leader of a terrorist group called "al Qaeda". On September 11, 2001, al Qaeda attacked the United States. They used two airplanes to destroy the World Trade Center Towers. These were two of the tallest buildings in New York City.

More than 2,500 people were killed that day. I remember where I was when it happened. I was 13 years old, in junior high school. I was in the library waiting to give a presentation. At 9:00 AM, the teacher stopped the class and turned on the TV. We all watched the two towers fall. It was a terrible event, similar to the March 11th earthquake and tsunami in Japan. But this wasn't nature. This was man-made.

After the attack, al Qaeda made a video. In it, Osama bin Laden said he was glad. He said he planned the attack. he said that he hated America. So America has been looking for Osama bin Laden for almost 10 years. When we killed him, Americans were pleased because we were angry with him. 

But you have a good point. It's not right to enjoy killing another person. I think Americans are worried and scared. Osama bin Laden's death is a symbol of hope. It makes us feel strong and in control. But really, we have a lot of problems. It's easier to focus on one evil man than it is to think about all our problems. 

I hope I answered some of your questions. I'm so glad you're asking these questions. It is important to learn about the world. I was your age when I became interested in international problems. 

If you have more questions, you can ask me anytime. You are an amazing student and I hope you will continue to challenge yourself. 

Your friend,

Rebeca

It hardly seems enough. I know I left out a lot of things, and I've probably misspelled something and my memory may be inaccurate on some points. Maybe the letter is too long, or the English too complicated and she will get discouraged. I sincerely hope this isn't the case, though, because this is a critical moment, where a student reaches out to a teacher to explain the world, and I want to provide an answer that is both adequate and accessible. An answer that is simple enough for her to understand, but complicated enough to make her want to ask more questions.

It's tough work, this teaching thing. One minute, it's all fun and games, the next it's asking me to evaluate and explain my world views. One minute I feel unnecessary, and the next, people want me to be in 3 places at once. One minute I'm playing tag and the next I'm on the phone giving someone my t-shirt size. I just re-read my Statement of Purpose that I wrote for my JET application. Not my best work, but still surprisingly relevant. Maybe sometime I'll put that up here. Until then, consider the letters above. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and maybe even your version of the letter. Think about it.

A Day in the Life

We'll start with the one bad thing that happened today, and work our way up to the good things. This also happens to be chronological. First period, the schedule had a mystery block for the 2nd and 3rd graders at the junior high school. I only understood the word "guidance" in the label, so I asked what was going on. I was told that various subjects were offering  a special, or "select" course offering, which 2nd and 3rd grade students could take to learn a bit more about that subject. The subjects offered this year were music, Japanese, industrial arts, and I think home-making. The two English teachers had discussed the option of a "select" English class, maybe showing some movies, doing some fun activities, but neither one had the time for it. And of course, no one bothered to ask me.
This really burns me. I WASN'T EVEN APPROACHED ABOUT THIS CLASS. NO ONE EVEN CONSIDERED MENTIONING IT TO ME, AND I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO DO IT!!!!!! Man. So I had a very indirect, passive aggressive talk with Ms. Nakamura, basically pleading to be told about everything English-related, stressing my language barrier and desire to help. The thing about Ms. Nakamura: she's a great teacher and works very hard, but she's not a team player. And I need her to recognize that I'm part of the team, especially if I'm to do my job well.

But it gets better from here. There was a visiting student today, 15-year-old Joy from Portland, Oregon, whose parents were both born in Japan and whose mother is actually from Nishihara. She spent two days with the students, and I got to speak English with a native speaker (a rarity in Nishihara)! She was very sweet, and much more outgoing and confident than I was at 15, and she spoke Japanese, so she got along great at the school. We watched the students practice for Sports Day, which included practicing relay-races, choreographed dances, etc. I finally couldn't help myself, and asked if I could join in their dance, so I spent a good 30 minutes mimicking the dance moves as best I could, and fooling most people into thinking I knew what I was doing. These are the songs I'm going to get to participate in: Love Revolution 21, by Morning Musume, and Onara Hazukashikunai, (up to 3:20) (the second song translates into "Farts are not Shameful"). Both are fun, and the girls are pretty pumped about it, and certainly tickled that I'm joining them.

Then school ended, and I went home. As I got there, I noticed a small boy, my neighbor's 6-year-old grandson, standing in my back yard, picking some red berries from a bush/vine clump. I said hi and went to look at what he was picking.

 I didn't even realize there were pick-able berries in my yard until I saw him picking and eating them. Most of them he was pocketing. He's seen and picked these berries before around his house, so he seemed to know what he was doing. He also seemed to have no reservations about picking them from my yard. Of course, I could hardly hold a grudge, since I never would have known about them if he hadn't been picking them. They're good. Not as sweet as most berries, and strange at first, but good nonetheless. I love surprises like this!

On the left is the wall of the garden.

Then I went to walk Zuma. There is a magical garden that I walk past everyday. It's quite large, flanking a small driveway (more for show than for cars), and each side easily covers the same area as my house. There are flowers and fruits and vegetables scattered about in no discernible pattern, creating an overall wondrous effect. The front is edged by a wall that meets the street. The plants flower in stages, and I've been admiring them since March. A few days ago, the pink flower bushes lining the driveway burst into full bloom, then died off. This garden must be full of hidden gems!

It happened that this time, the obachan (old lady, lit. "grandmother") who tends this magical place was out working, right on the edge. She saw me and waved me in. She began speaking a lot of Japanese, and though her speech was very clear for someone her age, much of what she said went over my head. But I understood some:

    Come come you work at the junior high school oh yes yes here take some flowers (cuts flowers and hands them to me) all you want tie your dog up right here (emphatically patting a short tree) how about some pink ones here take these two come on but talk to Shoichiro he's lived in America for two years I'll get him stay right there (goes inside and comes out with her grandson) he speaks English you should take some strawberries Shoichiro go get some clean newspaper I'll get you some blue flowers here hold the newspaper like this (she made a makeshift strawberry-holder) take lots here here there are lots...

You get the idea.

The bundle.

So I got to pick strawberries for the first time! Meanwhile I chatted briefly with her grandson, who indeed spoke some English. He looked even more confused than I was at the whole situation, but we both made the best of it and he helped me pick strawberries. Meanwhile, the obachan cut more flowers and handed them to me. I wrapped them all up as best I could in the newspaper, and with one arm full of flowers and fruit, and the other holding Zuma's leash, I left the premises.

The flowers, after I arranged them.

The strawberries, before I ate them.

After all this, I spent a quiet Friday evening at home, cooking spinach and sweet potatoes (both gifts from another Japanese gardening friend), watching the Daily Show and reading fairy tales for potential material for my adult English conversation class.

Strange to say, but it felt like a normal day.

A few random afterthoughts

Turns out my English is a lot faster now. A Japanese commented to say that my English is very fast, when she never seemed to think so before. Time to get used to speaking slowly again! Fortunately, the Japanese language feels deliciously familiar, even if I only understand it at a slower speed.

Also - I ate lunch at one of my elementary schools, where the kids all shouted "Rebeca Sensei" and made valiant efforts to high five, peak around corners, or convince me I should eat lunch with their table. I've become a sensation since I recognized a K-pop song and busted a move during lunch last time I was there. The 2nd graders nearly had a meltdown, they thought it was so funny and now they want nothing but to see my break into song and dance. They're welcome was considerably warmer than the one at my junior high school. There it was mostly the teachers I saw, and only a couple commented on seeing me again, and then it was routine silence as no one bothered to tell me anything about the upcoming sports day, today's schedule change (I spent all morning preparing for an afternoon lesson that was never going to happen), or anything really. It was a sad reminder that I am going to have to make my ignorance blatantly obvious and even pressing if I am going to get any information. No one seems to get it - I want to be informed and involved, not simply seen as an afterthought.

The wind is blowing fiercely outside. Some kinda storm's a-brewin'. The leaves are fiercely green, though, and the weather's been muggy and hot since I got back, meaning summer's basically here. And so are the mosquitoes. Poor JHS students, they still have to wear their winter uniform, even in this sticky heat. There's an official announcement during the school year that says they can switch to summer uniforms or to winter (a throw-back to old clothing-changing customs about which I know little), but until then they must follow protocol. They were dying in class on Monday, as was I, since I wasn't given much of a role my first day back, and the lessons turned out to be rather boring.

Lastly - I have a kindle! I've been taking it with me on plane rides, and it's fantastic! If I finish a book, I can either go on to one I already have on the kindle, or I can go online for a new book, buy it, receive it and start reading it, all within a minute using just the kindle. It's almost too easy! I've just started a page turner that I can't put down, so now I'm even carrying it to work, for days when there's little to do, like today. Hopefully I'll keep reading more - I've been away from it for awhile.

America

Now that I'm back, it's almost hard to believe that I went home at all. 10 short days was all I had to spend at home. I spent the better part of 48 hours traveling there and back. So I've been away from English teaching and Japanese living for about 2 weeks. Coming back, as familiar as it all is, I can tell it will take a few more days for me to readjust to Japan.

I spent a few Glorious Days back on the Harvard campus with my undergrad friends. My time in Cambridge was divided rather perfectly between spending the earlier part of the day with my Aunt Lisa and the latter part of the day (often well into the next morning) with members of the Noteables, my college Broadway singing group. When I graduated, I was the only senior in the group, which allowed me to grow rather close to the underclassmen. It apparently also meant that I became something of a legend over this past year of my absence, so when I arrived, I was afforded the status perhaps of a deity. And I enjoyed every minute of it! Despite looming exams and papers, every night was spent in the company of some combination of my beloved Note-a-children, and from the moment I got my first hug, it felt like I'd never left. It felt so natural and wonderful to be seeing them all again!

With Lisa, I ate lunch at regular times, walked the streets of Cambridge, pondered the mysteries of life, and picnicked by the river. With Lisa and Rebecca, Lisa's Japan-savvy friend and Boston resident, I discussed the oddities of Japan, got lost navigating campus, and enjoyed several Arts First performances (a festival of undergrad arts performances was going on around campus while I was there). Lisa and I also managed a trip to Boston's MFA to see an AMAZING Dale Chihuly blown glass exhibit. That one gave me shivers - it was titled "Through the Looking Glass" and it really felt like walking into a world created by Lewis Carroll, Roald Dahl, and Tim Burton. It was stunning! 

My time in Cambridge passed quickly, and before I knew it, I was on a plane to Texas. The density of people I saw in Texas was certainly less, but the time spent with people was splendid. I spent time in Houston, Corpus Christi, and San Antonio, and only saw a few wonderful people in each place. I spent a couple of great dinners with my mom and brother, since the latter can now drink. The three of us have developed an odd relationship: close, yes, but definitely odd. And it makes me happy.

So besides reveling in joy and love and happiness, how did my trip to America affect me? Well, the first unexpected side-effect I noticed was my constant thirst. After my first 24 hours back, I had spoken more English than I probably had in the prior two months. I talked myself dry, day after day after day. I joked and I laughed and I sang and I made snarky comments and I shouted familiar names and I said "bless you" to people when they sneezed. No one does that last one in Japan. 

I had also intended to eat A LOT of food during my short stay. But I seem to have adopted a Japanese appetite, and perhaps American food really is that much heavier, and I found myself increasingly unable to eat American-sized portions. I didn't eat nearly as much as I intended, in nearly enough places. The food was delightfully familiar and far from Japanese, but by far my favorite meal of the whole trip was at the Guatemalan bakery and restaurant in Houston, called El Quetzal. My mom and I shared a couple of platters of traditional, cheap, and yummy Guatemalan food, some of which Mama didn't even recognize. Soooo good! And so simple! And so cheap! And so far from Japan...

There were other small differences I noticed as well. Back in America, I immediately felt much smaller. Not only were the people much bigger in all dimensions, but airport officials are noticeably ruder, especially if you're coming from Japan. Things in general were just cheaper, and it felt strange using a debit or credit card at the store since in Japan, cash is king. Driving on the right side of the road felt strange for the most part - I'll admit I was somewhat relieved to be back here driving on the left. Everything was bigger - people, cars, roads, stores, my dog. I got to see Parker, who was much bigger than I had remembered! A little slower, too, but then maybe I've grown a little too used to Zuma's running circles every morning. 

I ate a mango while I was home. It was juicy and big and perfect. It stands out in my mind even more since I spotted a $13 mango in the grocery store yesterday. I've definitely found them for a $1.50 before, but they've never turned out right. 

And limes. I made sure to put lime juice on things whenever I could, even had a couple of glasses of fresh limeade. Which is making me thirsty. Apparently I'm still not over this dehydration from the trip, although I'm talking considerably less. 

Readjusting to life here is taking some time. I feel that I'm quieter than before I left, and a bit more peeved than usual at things that I should come to expect. Things like sudden schedule changes that no one informs me about (which happened today). Or the onset of extreme shyness because I'm back to needing a language I don't know very well. Admittedly, I was better adjusted before I went home, and now that I'm back and the memory of home is still fresh, I'm holding bigger grudges. I think I just need time to settle back to where I was, get back to my routine of studying the language and re-discovering the Crazy that makes me laugh, while learning to pass over the Crazy that actually drives me crazy. 

And I know it's a few days late, but I want to make a shout-out to Mama. You do so much and make it look so easy. Especially during this trip. It's like everything you do naturally and powerfully says "I love you, so it's no problem at all." No puedo expresar la admiracion que tengo para usted. Le quiero con todo mi corazon, y me alegre que tenga usted para madre. Cada dia usted me da fuerza e inspiracion! Gracias por todo!